Come with me to a by-gone era of 70 cents per gallon gas and 7 mpg vehicles. A place with shaggy sideburns and 8-track tape decks, and, maybe most importantly, cool, dry crotches. Spring and probably after that, Summer, will be upon us soon and for many that will only mean a sweaty, moist crotch. This anatomical tragedy is a direct result of the vanishing of crotch vents. If you've never had the pleasure allow me to explain. There was a time, not too long ago, when car manufactures included a small vent, usually under the steering column, whose only purpose seemed to be to blow air on the driver's crotch. Maybe it sounds a little ridiculous, maybe a little gross but let me tell you right now: it was heaven. You'd never have to worry about a dreaded case of SBS or embarrassing Fergie-esque crotch stains. Crotch vents eliminated uncomfortable driving conditions by at least 72%. So why the disappearance?
I can only imagine that because as cars became smaller, there was less and less room. Something had to go...the crotch vent paid the price. But was this sacrifice worth it in the long run? I can say absolutely that no, it was not. I get hot, I get moist, and I get angry. Why not a resurgence in the crotch vent? Why now, many years later, has the crotch vent not returned? Any other vent cannot be angled to perform the brave task of the once great but humble crotch vent.
I challenge automakers to take their bailout money and give the people what they want, nay, need and deserve: the crotch vent.
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1 comment:
I like the crotch fan. I remember the little fan for the driver. The icon on the dash, the one that shows the flow of air with arrows, seems to indicate an under the dash flow of air. Doesn't seem to generate the air flow, though.
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